It will hurt like hell but let go

Updated: Aug 6, 2018

"That search will never end, you will always seek me in everything else, and you will very slowly realise that I was your everything, and that I will never be found. When they give you the world and you continuously destroy them in return, those are the thoughts that will haunt you.  You know that day when you wake up and realise you were chasing stars as you were losing the moon, thats what I feel sorry for. The ache in regret is the bullet that suddenly impacts you more intensely than you could have ever imagined. Hopefully the continuous lies will be there to comfort you from the reality and the laughter you hear echoing right through to your core. You are what you seek"

You're going to miss him,

its going to hurt like crazy! And when you finally let go.. the pain will continue.

You will wake up in a panic most nights around 2am, forgetting that he is no longer next to you. You will crave everything about him, his touch, his smell, the way he would hold you to fall asleep. The warmth of his body next to yours. You’ll get so mad because you don’t want to feel like this - you don’t deserve this! You don’t want to be sad! You deserve so much more! You question why this happened to you, to your relationship.  And the thing is youre not even just sad - youre heart broken, absolutely destroyed. Your guts feel like knots you will never will be able to untie - and every day youre sick to your stomach knowing there is nothing you can do but to make the decision to continue to move on, let go of what is no longer right for you.  Even knowing that there is so much more for you and that you are so deserving of such a deeper more mature love its the strongest pain that feels it will never leave. You have to fight yourself to stop calling, to stop texting, to stop trying everything you can to see him. It will take everything you have got to not check his Facebook, when he was on last or who his new friends are.  Sometimes its too much for two people to be together, sometimes its just the wrong combination or possibly just the wrong life time. Its like fuel on a fire it just goes up in flames. But I can tell you now, its time girl to use that fire in you to set yourself free. Let go.. yes you will miss him and it will hurt like hell - but you know deep in your heart it just cannot be, it was just not meant to be. 

Whats truly meant for you won't ever go by you.  Know that when you do come out the other side, its beautiful, its sunny - there is light..... and it all finally make so much sense, I promise you it will be like you can finally see again, you can breathe, you are you again, and  it will all be worth it.And know that even though it doesn't feel like it right now whilst this letting go process is occuring - there is someone who is waiting for you, waiting to love you, waiting to give you the world, waiting to show you that he appreciates you and cant live with out you!  Thats what you must wait for!!!

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© 2019 Copyright | Food.Fitness.Wellness | rebecca neale
{My personal opinions and journey should not be mistaken for professional medical or healthcare advice}