Depression - struggling in and out of this black hole, I can tell you its one of the darkest places you will ever venture to.
But I want you to know that there is hope, even when it feels like the world is caving in on you and that you will never ever find daylight again.
I want you to know that there is hope even when you feel like no one understands, or understands you.
I promise you there is hope, even on the days where you feel like you can no longer wear that fake smile that everyone loves you for. There is hope even when you lay awake at 3am wondering what is next for you, when will it ever end.
I want you to know that you are so damn brave.
Even if you don’t think so, or no one else says so.
I want you to know that you are so damn strong, stronger than anyone knows - you are able to carry on throughout your day as if nothing were any different, just that you carry a world much heavier on your shoulders.
People don’t understand, I know - and for that Im sorry. I know you deserve so much more.
Know that its ok to cancel on plans - a real friend will always understand that some days its just too hard, too much. And in when you feel that blackness is too exhausting thats ok. If you don’t want to venture out, and if you don’t want to see anyone, talk to anyone or do anything for that matter! Its absolutely perfectly fine. You are allowed to feel this way.
Remember that you aren’t well, not lazy -if you have the flu or an illness that makes you bed ridden and you would call in sick for this is not cause youre lazy, its because you are physically too ill to go to work. Depression is the same, its an illness in its self, of the mind. And unfortunately not enough people understand this. I get it! Its hard to be inspired, to find motivation to be able to get through the day let alone your work. Depression causes you to lack motivation, you are not lazy!
Know that you are not useless - do things you are good at, we all have talents and are good at something, these don’t leave when you are in this dark space. You can create magic, doing something you are good at reminds you that your depression is lying to you, you are not useless!
Remember that you need to take time for you - its not selfish, its self care.
You are just a little bit broken, your mind isn’t working how it used to but its still knows how to take care of you and how to survive to some degree. You may not be able to cure yourself but you can definitely help. Sadly those who are going through depression a fearful of being judged and just go through the motions rather than trying to take care of themselves and doing things they need to heal. Stop worrying what others may think and start taking care of you. You are the only one who can heal you!
And know that Healing takes time - stop putting pressure on yourself, you head and heart deserve more. Stop apologising for being depressed, who are you apologising to? You cant help this, you didn’t make this happen, you definitely didn’t choose it! Even healing doesn’t always mean it will leave you for good, it may come and go as you move through life at different stages. So do not apologise for an illness you cant help. Take your time to do what you need to heal. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop thinking you need to get better for anyone else. Focus on you and your story and not whoever or whatever stands in the way of that.